Stop Avoiding Emotional Maturity

“You cannot be spiritually mature while remaining emotionally immature.”— Peter Scazzero

Emotional maturity isn’t just a trending topic in therapy circles—it’s a foundational pillar for anyone pursuing personal growth, healthy relationships, and a deeper walk with God. And yet, many people—especially men—continue to avoid it like it’s optional. It's not. In fact, emotional maturity is often the missing piece that explains why so many people can quote scripture, attend church, and serve faithfully… yet still live disconnected, reactive, and emotionally unavailable lives.

This is why I wrote The Emotionally Available Man. Because too many of us are showing up physically but hiding emotionally. We’ve learned how to act right, but not how to feel right. We’ve mastered performance, but we’re struggling in private.

Why Another Message About Emotional Maturity?

Because despite all our external accomplishments, far too many men are still internally at war—with their past, with their pain, with their silence. We've been conditioned to suppress instead of express, to dominate instead of feel, and to disengage instead of confront what's going on beneath the surface. And that’s not strength—that’s survival. That’s not maturity—that’s avoidance.

But here’s the truth: God never called us to survive emotionally. He called us to thrive spiritually—and the two are connected.

Emotions are not a liability. They’re not a weakness to hide. They are a God-given part of our humanity, designed to help us live fully and love deeply. The Bible never tells us to ignore our emotions—it teaches us to manage them. In Galatians 5:22-23, the fruit of the Spirit includes love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, and self-control. That’s not detachment. That’s emotional health. That’s emotional maturity in action.

The Spiritually Strong Man Feels

A man filled with the Spirit doesn’t avoid hard emotions—he engages them with wisdom. He doesn’t lash out when angry, he leans into self-control. He doesn’t shut down in frustration, he practices patience. He doesn’t deny fear, he walks through it with faith.

This is the type of man we’re called to become: not stoic, but surrendered. Not emotionally shut off, but spiritually tuned in.

Why Do We Avoid Emotional Growth?

Because it requires vulnerability. It asks us to face ourselves. It calls us to confront the disappointments we buried, the trauma we never unpacked, and the beliefs we’ve adopted about manhood that don’t reflect the Kingdom.

Many men have learned how to provide for their families, protect their homes, and lead in their careers—but haven’t been taught how to process hurt, express sadness, or sit in grief without trying to fix it. That’s not their fault—but it is their responsibility to grow.

Avoidance might feel easier in the moment, but it comes at the cost of intimacy, freedom, and peace. And here's the warning: what we don't deal with, we will eventually project—on our partners, our kids, our ministries, and ourselves.

So What Now?

The invitation is simple: stop avoiding emotional maturity.

You don’t have to figure it all out today. But you do have to decide to stop hiding behind silence, sarcasm, or spiritual busyness. You do have to decide to stop letting your past define your presence. You do have to decide that emotional maturity is not a side note to your faith—it’s central to it.

This isn’t about becoming more emotional—it’s about becoming more honest. It’s about allowing God into the spaces you’ve been keeping closed off. It’s about becoming available—not just to your wife, kids, or church—but to the Holy Spirit’s transformative work inside you.

Final Thought: If you’ve ever felt like there’s more to who you are than what you’ve been living out, you’re right. Emotional maturity is the bridge between who you’ve been and who you’re called to be. Don’t run from the work—lean into it. God is not afraid of your emotions. He gave them to you. And He wants to use them to bring healing, connection, and purpose to every area of your life.

Stop avoiding emotional maturity. Embrace the growth. And let the journey begin.